PDF Ebook Toward Commitment: A Dialogue About Marriage, by Diane Rehm, John B. Rehm
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Toward Commitment: A Dialogue About Marriage, by Diane Rehm, John B. Rehm
PDF Ebook Toward Commitment: A Dialogue About Marriage, by Diane Rehm, John B. Rehm
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In Toward Commitment, Diane Rehm, the nationally known Public Radio broadcaster, and John, her lawyer-husband, open up for the reader their marriage of over forty years, revealing their passionate bond as well as their points of conflict and frustration. In a series of surprisingly honest dialogues, they grapple with their pronounced differences of background, attitude, and expectation. Addressing difficult and important issues-from love and sex and raising children to dependence and independence, from spiritual differences to financial and social needs-Toward Commitment gives readers the opportunity to eavesdrop on a husband and wife bravely analyzing their relationship and confronting the issues that inevitably strain a relationship. Refreshingly candid, these perceptive discussions will resonate with any two people who care enough about each other to resolve their difficulties. A practical guide for married couples as well as a must-read for couples considering that commitment, this thoughtful and ultimately hopeful book will help them become closer than ever.
- Sales Rank: #402987 in Books
- Brand: Da Capo Press
- Published on: 2004-01-08
- Released on: 2004-01-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.30" h x .69" w x 5.50" l, .76 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 286 pages
- Great product!
From Publishers Weekly
The Rehms met in 1958, when Diane had been married and divorced once and John had had "scant experience with women." They married a year later, and that they are still happily married poses the inevitable question, "How did you do it?" In an unusual format of essays and dialogues, they offer their response "in the belief that an honest account of a marriage of more than forty years may encourage other marriages and comparable relationships not only to endure, but to flourish." Diane has been a well-known radio talk-show host for more than 20 years, and except for her highly successful career (which did not begin until their daughter was at boarding school and their son was working abroad), theirs has been a traditional marriage for their generation. John, an attorney first in the Kennedy and Johnson administrations and then in private practice, attended more to his career than his family for many years, and the authors discuss this and other common marital issues, in alternating voices. Each chapter covers a single topic, including expectations, anger, sex, solitude, money, careers, religion, parenting, friends, in-laws, retirement, illness and aging. Focusing solely on their own personal experience restricts the amount of knowledge they have to offer on some subjects, while in other cases they speak generally rather than providing detailed real-life anecdotes (perhaps the fault of the dialogue format). Blaming the difficulties in their marriage on ignorance of themselves and each other, they recommend individual therapy, premarital counseling, couples counseling and thoughtful discussions of both marital issues and childhood experiences affecting assumptions and behaviors within the marriage. Insufficient as either a marriage manual or revelatory memoir, this "dialogue" offers useful, if limited, relationship advice from a seasoned married couple.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
John B. Rehm is a retired attorney, while radio personality Diane Rehm authored Finding My Voice. Together they have been working at their marriage long enough (43 years!) to make it look easy. Like everyone, they started out "with gross ignorance" of themselves and each other. Through devoted, sometimes dogged commitment to each other, they found that "marriage-or any long-term relationship-is a never-ending process of exploration and growth." The reader becomes a fly on the wall during the couple's discussions of some 25 topics (e.g., food, sex, commitment) in individual and then mutual conversation. These transcriptions tastefully make public the very private and often profound musings, reflections, and wisdom of two intelligent people who have been through life and now know something about it. Readers should listen up-they just might learn something. While the Rehms chose the straight and narrow, Robinson (Star Country) and Shaw walked the razor's edge. Two former alcoholics (now in recovery and in their sixties), they here describe their courtship and chronicle their misspent pasts in lurid detail. The authors alternate first-person narrative, a method that quickly becomes tiresome and confusing, and their pompous, self-important tone doesn't hide their obvious desperation. This offers zero how-to advice and is a bit too confessional in nature. Both books present the very personal side of the individual/couple dynamic as examined in self-help books like Martha Baldwin Beveridge's Loving Your Partner Without Losing Your Self. Of course, marriage doesn't universally equate to happiness and success, as Xavier F. Amador reminds us in Being Single in a Couple's World. Also consider Laura Davis's I Thought We'd Never Speak Again for a concerned, optimistic take on reconciliation. Toward Commitment is recommended, while Falling in Love is not.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
Inspired by a series she hosted that was broadcast on public radio, Diane Rehm and her husband present a two-person narrative account of what it takes to keep a relationship intact. The format alternates between the authors' individual perspectives on the expectations and reality of their own 42-year marriage and a dialogue between husband and wife on 27 specific topics, ranging from anger to making love, religion to parenting, vacations to psychotherapy, in-laws to death. The Rehms explore the difficulties and rewards of their marriage and how they have reconciled their differing approaches to money, religion, family life, and other issues and have managed to persevere and maintain a happy marriage. The Rehms' advice and lessons offer plainspoken insight and are applicable to any couple. Readers interested in long-term relationships, whether they are married or not, will enjoy this honest and insightful book. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Most helpful customer reviews
59 of 60 people found the following review helpful.
A quick, easy read on commitment
By T. Martin
As a young woman (23) trying to find resources to understand what it takes to develop, keep and maintain a committed relationship the Rehm's anecdotal book was enlightening in an easy to read format. I am a believer in the idea that each relationship is a country unto itself but there are certain themes, struggles, etc., that tend to be common among all relationships which comes through clearly in the dialogue throughout this book. Regardless of any degree of fame Diane has gained over the years through her radio career and publication of her book "Finding My Voice", the Rehms are real people, with a real relationship that has weathered MANY ups and downs. (The fact that their relationship has endured to see 42 years seems like a miracle after reading this book!)
If you are interested in reading lay people's account of enduring and maintaining a committed relationship please give this book a try. The set up of the book (each chapter focuses on a different theme) allows the reader to pick and choose the concepts of interest to them. Both writing styles are clear and fluid making this book one that can be picked up and put down as time allows.
PLEASE ignore the reviews from disgruntled individuals who gave this book a low rating based on their opinions of Diane Rehm the radio personality and NPR. Those views in no way relate to the insight that can be gained from this book.
54 of 59 people found the following review helpful.
Refreshingly Honest
By Joy Bennett
This is a very candid book detailing the ups and downs of a marriage spanning over 40 years. Between work, health, children, in-laws and financial challenges, it's sometimes hard to work things all out; and it's nice to know that someone has finally demystified the myth of "happily ever after." It takes work, communication, and trust; a solid marriage is something two people create together through their commitment to each other, and not something that just happens automatically.
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Fun and Helpful
By A Customer
You don't often find a relationship-building book that makes you laugh out loud and this one did. I loved the format of "his thoughts", "her thoughts", then their dialogue on the topic. It proves that even if couples are miles apart in how they think about something like money or religion, there is a positive way to talk about it and reach agreement on a path forward. The totally honest, but always respectful way they talk to each other is a good lesson in effective communication. I feel this book is one of the few "relationship" books that has really helped me grow.
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